When Joy Is Not Preferable

by David Rollert

This year we have examined joyful endurance, and for obvious reasons we have spent a lot of time examining joy. But the question arises: are there times when joy is not preferable? Are there times where joy is inappropriate or not helpful? To examine this, let’s look at Ecclesiastes 7:1-6.

Joy is not preferable when sorrow is warranted. Solomon writes, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart. 3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for when a face is sad a heart may be happy” (Ecc. 7:2-3). There are absolutely times when sorrow is warranted, such as when there has been a death of a loved one or when a job is lost or a friendship severed. While those times are painful, the sorrow serves some important functions. The pain provides contrast to the joyful times in our lives. You don’t know the value of the light until you have been lost in the dark. The sorrow also gives us a chance to meditate on how fragile life is so that we can prioritize what is actually important in our lives.

Joy is not preferable when a rebuke is needed. Solomon writes, “It is better to listen to the rebuke of a wise man than for one to listen to the song of fools” (Ecc. 7:5). If a rebuke is needed, it is because bad decisions were made. Joy would be inappropriate at that moment. When a rebuke is necessary, solemnity and gravity are more appropriate. Repentant and respectful attitudes are warranted. For the rebuke to have its intended effect, it must be seriously considered.

Joy is not preferable when serious consideration is necessary. Solomon writes, “For as the crackling of thorn bushes under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool; and this too is futility” (Ecc. 7:6). Solomon does not mean that all laughter is foolish. Rather, he observes that the fool laughs at the wrong times and does not take important matters seriously. There are times that you need to carefully consider what steps must be taken. These times must be handled with an appropriate level of seriousness. Serious situations often result in joy. When the above situations are handled with an appropriate level of serious attention, then joy is a natural result. Sorrow is painful for the moment, but it can help you to fully appreciate and take joy in the good times. Rebukes are difficult in the moment, but they can result in wisdom and joy as bad behavior is corrected. Serious consideration leads to good decisions, resulting in the joy of having made good decisions.

The balance of wisdom is key: the wisdom to be sorrowful when appropriate, to rebuke when needed, to be serious when the situation calls for it, and to express joy whenever possible.