The Joy of Godly Courtship
- Feb 8
- 2 min read
by David Rollert
Marriage was designed by God to be a beautiful union of man and woman. However, as with every good thing, the enemy tries to twist and corrupt that union into something that destroys people and their relationship with God. We as God’s people have the ability, and even duty, to reject the enemy’s corruption and follow God’s beautiful design for union between man and woman. This starts even before the couple is married! The courtship (or time of dating) sets the precedents for the rest of the couple’s relationship. Courtship is a time to find out if you want to live the rest of your life with someone. Here are important questions to ask to help in coming to that conclusion.
Do we agree on sound doctrine and the importance of being obedient to God? Psalm 127:1, “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;...”. If the couple agrees on sound doctrine and obedience to God, then their relationship can be filled with joy rather than constant friction over every topic.
Do we have the ability to communicate clearly and openly? Proverbs 15:2, “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly.” A couple who cultivates communication skills in their courtship can have joy - even when there are disagreements!
Do we work together, or sabotage each other? Along with communication skills, the joyful couple will also be united in the goal or mission of their lives. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” A couple who are both laboring together for the same goals will have far more joy than a couple who work in opposing directions. Courtship is the time to synchronize your focus in life!
That brings us to the elephant in the room: How do we view sexuality? God designed the physical relationship between a married couple to be joyous, desirable, and without shame. For our good, He stated that the sexual relationship is to be reserved exclusively for within the bonds of marriage. Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Yet everything about modern dating is designed to foster sexuality. The enemy works hard to convince people that they should partake in the sexual relationship with whomever and whenever they want – that it’s a good thing. And many buy into the lie. Despite its many benefits, abstinence until marriage is openly scorned in our society.
This is where everything else we’ve discussed comes together. If the couple is united in their commitment to obey God, have strong communication skills, and are united in the goal or mission of their relationship, then they can joyfully help each other reserve sexual intimacy for marriage. But, if they are not united in those other areas, then one or both of them will be working against God’s will and they will not have the joyful, godly courtship God desires for them.
Comments